My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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