I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
