Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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