All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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