Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
