DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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