everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
