My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
