It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
