This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
