so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
