I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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