ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
