i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
