They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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