I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
