the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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