All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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