3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize