I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
