I'm going to jail i love you
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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