the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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