i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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