I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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