I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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