Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
