I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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