I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
