Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
