im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
