There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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