I'm eating all of the evidence.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
