I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
