Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
