and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
