and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize