But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
