I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
