Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize