so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
