Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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