Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ambien. No doubt about it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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