Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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