eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
