I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
