Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
