How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
