Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
