The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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