it wasn't lemon gatorade
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think your dad took our porno
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
