i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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