I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize