i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
