4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
