R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize