we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
