you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
