Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
