everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
