On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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