Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
