dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
