Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
