my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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